Good Stuff: Odys + Penelope

I had a very titillating (it took me like three years to spell that word right even after I Googled it and apparently it has nothing to do with tits?) encounter with some food the other day. My friends and I randomly selected Odys + Penelope from some list of hot and new restaurants in L.A. and decided to give it a visit. I was pleased to see that it was located across the street from my old stomping grounds on La Brea, where I used to slang sneakers and expertly fold t-shirts so that tourists and Omarion could unfold them 10 seconds later. Back in my day, we didn't have such luxurious lunching options on the block and I was limited to Ralph's sandwiches and bean burritos (indigestion) from Chevron. So this place gets 9 stars alone for being located in an area that makes me nostalgic about frozen gas station burritos. 

So from what I gathered on the internet, Odys + Penelope is owned by the people that owned Hatfield's (never went there) and it is a churrasco/grill style place. 

There was no fucking way we weren't going to order the cheesy poofs. These were like the cheese breads from Fogo de Chao mixed with Red Lobster biscuits mixed with a croissant served with a sexy orange dipping sauce (smoked tomato romesco). 

These were the Grilled Wild White Prawns with Garlicky Buttered Potatoes....D-LISH!  

The Pork Belly Bolognese Pappardelle contained my two favorite things on earth: pork belly and fresh pasta. I carefully draped the pasta on my head like a wig and asked my friends if I looked pretty and when they all responded with "no", I asked the bolognese out on a date. (I am clearly running out of ways to describe how delicious food is.) 

My friend ordered the Oak Grilled Branzino, which I helped myself to when she went to the bathroom. It was an absolute masterpiece. 

This is the Slow Grilled Tri-Tip with Bearnaise and Charred Broccolini. My eyes rolled back in my head and got stuck there for a solid half hour the instant that beef with bearnaise hit my tongue. Yes, I looked like I needed medical attention, but that is just what I look like when I eat perfectly cooked red meat or when I look at Nick Jonas. 

I know what you're all wondering, "How does she take such professional looking photos?" The answer is poor lighting and an antique iPhone 5s with a camera lens covered with grease and carb debris. I can rent mine out to you for $100 a day. 

In conclusion, Odys + Penelope gets 10 stars from me. Or an A +. Do I have the authority to grant Michelin stars? If so, this gets 3. If I am not mistaken, this is exactly how Jonathan Gold reviews restaurants. The only difference is I am doing it better, so WATCH OUT, GOLD! I AM COMING FOR YOUR JOB.