ALOHA!/SONICS
I've decided to start a blog mildly devoted to FOOD. I say mildly because I'm probably gonna post other sorts of shit on here too because I'm retiring my old blog (http://www.bignsexy.blogspot.com). The old blog was merely child's play and I intend on taking this blog much more seriously because it serves a purpose. That purpose is to inform the world of all the culinary masterpieces out there or at least the ones in LA/SF. I've also come to terms with the fact that I'm tragically fat and I have an uncontrollable passion for food. I figure that I might as well do something productive with all the energy and time I pour into feeding myself by documenting my eating adventures.
For my first entry, I decided to review America's Drive-In, Sonics. Them claiming to be "America's Drive-In" is total bullshit because I haven't been able to locate a Sonics within a reasonable distance from any major American metropolitan area. Or at least the good metropolitan areas. So -1 point for Sonics for being liars and for being inconveniently far. The closest Sonics location to Los Angeles is roughly 25 miles away in Anaheim, CA. A certain asshole accused me of being obese for knowing the exact amount of miles between myself and the closest Sonics. There could be some truth behind this statement, but on the other hand he is probably just jealous...which is typically the case when people accuse me of being obese.
This is a glamour shot of the exterior of the Sonics. So I suppose Sonics is literally a drive-in as in you park your car in a stall and order from the stall and they bring the food out to you. Us being the geniuses that we are, we tried to eat inside but to our horror there was no inside. It was slightly embarassing because as we were walking to go inside, we could see people laughing at us from inside their cars. So we walked back to the car and re-parked at a stall. We were clearly a bunch of amateurs and/or straight up retarded.
So we parked, ordered $50 worth of food, and the food was brought to us by some chick. The menu has all the classic fast food choices such as burgers, fries, hot dogs, chicken sandwiches, and all that shit. But the real gems are the brilliantly fat goodies that you would only find at Sonics. For example, only at Sonics would you find chili cheese tater tots or a chili cheese frito wrap (a tortilla filled with fritos, chili, cheese, and onions.) Another winner would be the toaster sandwiches. They have breakfast ones as well as a chicken club and a bacon cheeseburger one but the special part about these sandwiches is that they're served on generously buttered pieces of texas toast. Anything smothered in butter is a winner in my book. I ended up ordering a foot long chili cheese coney dog, cheese tater tots, a chicken club toaster sandwich, a cherry limeade, an oreo/reese's sonic blast, and THE CHEESECAKE BITES. good lord, you have not lived until you have tried deep fried cheesecake bits dipped in cinnamon caramel sauce. So here are some pictures to whack it to...
Okay, in the heat of my excitement, I forgot to take pictures of the food before I ate it. But these are the remnants of my foot long coney dog and cheese tots. They were mind blowing by the way...
This is my chicken club toaster sandwich. See how they butter the bread and toast it to golden brown perfection? Some people see God in the rising sun or in the smiles of their children...I on the other hand saw God on a piece of Texas toast. Don't tell my mom I said that, she's a hardcore Catholic.
Miss Stephanie modeling some chili cheese fries and Fat Landy holding some Sonic blasts.
My oreo and reese's Sonic blast. The Sonic blasts kind of sucked...it tasted like melted frosting and there wasn't nearly enough oreo or reeses. I prefer McFlurry's over these any day. Okay, I'm not gonna lie...I put this up to show off my freshly manicured nails. No point in getting your nails did if you can't floss 'em
BEHOLD......CHEESECAKE BITES! I don't know who the hell dreamed these fuckers up, but everyone in the car was literally cheering when they tried them. They would be accurately described as "cinnamon cheesies." I got this term from my older cousins. When I was a kid, they used to tease me and accuse me of being a girl scout and selling so called "cinnamon cheesies." I don't know where they got this shit because I was never a girl scout nor did I ever try to sell them anything cheese or cinnamon related. Anyhow, the cheesecake bites are fried to a warm golden perfection and they're served with packets of cinnamon caramel sauce. JIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. That last picture is straight up pornographic...damn, I'm good.
I'll let you live out the cheesecake bite experience vicariously through a single photograph. BRACE YOURSELVES.
And that my friends is Daichi Ito, Japan's national treasure. He is slowly invading America and captivates the hearts of millions on a daily basis.
So in all, I would say that Sonics was WELL WORTH the 30 minute drive based solely on the cheesecake bites. But the other goodies were pretty mind blowing too. Sonics could very well be the ultimate fast food experience and its downright tragic that there aren't any in the immediate LA area. They would make a KILLING if they had a Sonics in LA.
RATING SUMMARY
SAVORY: *****
SWEET: *****
LOCATION: *
ATMOSPHERE: **
OVERALL RATING: ****
BONER FACTOR: Shit had me hurtin for a squirtin.
So in honor of my first official post on this bad boy...I'd like to leave you with more photos of Daichi and his new, freshly permed 'do.
AIGHT PEACE BITCHES!
-MELKWON THE CHEF
For my first entry, I decided to review America's Drive-In, Sonics. Them claiming to be "America's Drive-In" is total bullshit because I haven't been able to locate a Sonics within a reasonable distance from any major American metropolitan area. Or at least the good metropolitan areas. So -1 point for Sonics for being liars and for being inconveniently far. The closest Sonics location to Los Angeles is roughly 25 miles away in Anaheim, CA. A certain asshole accused me of being obese for knowing the exact amount of miles between myself and the closest Sonics. There could be some truth behind this statement, but on the other hand he is probably just jealous...which is typically the case when people accuse me of being obese.
This is a glamour shot of the exterior of the Sonics. So I suppose Sonics is literally a drive-in as in you park your car in a stall and order from the stall and they bring the food out to you. Us being the geniuses that we are, we tried to eat inside but to our horror there was no inside. It was slightly embarassing because as we were walking to go inside, we could see people laughing at us from inside their cars. So we walked back to the car and re-parked at a stall. We were clearly a bunch of amateurs and/or straight up retarded.
So we parked, ordered $50 worth of food, and the food was brought to us by some chick. The menu has all the classic fast food choices such as burgers, fries, hot dogs, chicken sandwiches, and all that shit. But the real gems are the brilliantly fat goodies that you would only find at Sonics. For example, only at Sonics would you find chili cheese tater tots or a chili cheese frito wrap (a tortilla filled with fritos, chili, cheese, and onions.) Another winner would be the toaster sandwiches. They have breakfast ones as well as a chicken club and a bacon cheeseburger one but the special part about these sandwiches is that they're served on generously buttered pieces of texas toast. Anything smothered in butter is a winner in my book. I ended up ordering a foot long chili cheese coney dog, cheese tater tots, a chicken club toaster sandwich, a cherry limeade, an oreo/reese's sonic blast, and THE CHEESECAKE BITES. good lord, you have not lived until you have tried deep fried cheesecake bits dipped in cinnamon caramel sauce. So here are some pictures to whack it to...
Okay, in the heat of my excitement, I forgot to take pictures of the food before I ate it. But these are the remnants of my foot long coney dog and cheese tots. They were mind blowing by the way...
This is my chicken club toaster sandwich. See how they butter the bread and toast it to golden brown perfection? Some people see God in the rising sun or in the smiles of their children...I on the other hand saw God on a piece of Texas toast. Don't tell my mom I said that, she's a hardcore Catholic.
Miss Stephanie modeling some chili cheese fries and Fat Landy holding some Sonic blasts.
My oreo and reese's Sonic blast. The Sonic blasts kind of sucked...it tasted like melted frosting and there wasn't nearly enough oreo or reeses. I prefer McFlurry's over these any day. Okay, I'm not gonna lie...I put this up to show off my freshly manicured nails. No point in getting your nails did if you can't floss 'em
BEHOLD......CHEESECAKE BITES! I don't know who the hell dreamed these fuckers up, but everyone in the car was literally cheering when they tried them. They would be accurately described as "cinnamon cheesies." I got this term from my older cousins. When I was a kid, they used to tease me and accuse me of being a girl scout and selling so called "cinnamon cheesies." I don't know where they got this shit because I was never a girl scout nor did I ever try to sell them anything cheese or cinnamon related. Anyhow, the cheesecake bites are fried to a warm golden perfection and they're served with packets of cinnamon caramel sauce. JIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. That last picture is straight up pornographic...damn, I'm good.
I'll let you live out the cheesecake bite experience vicariously through a single photograph. BRACE YOURSELVES.
And that my friends is Daichi Ito, Japan's national treasure. He is slowly invading America and captivates the hearts of millions on a daily basis.
So in all, I would say that Sonics was WELL WORTH the 30 minute drive based solely on the cheesecake bites. But the other goodies were pretty mind blowing too. Sonics could very well be the ultimate fast food experience and its downright tragic that there aren't any in the immediate LA area. They would make a KILLING if they had a Sonics in LA.
RATING SUMMARY
SAVORY: *****
SWEET: *****
LOCATION: *
ATMOSPHERE: **
OVERALL RATING: ****
BONER FACTOR: Shit had me hurtin for a squirtin.
So in honor of my first official post on this bad boy...I'd like to leave you with more photos of Daichi and his new, freshly permed 'do.
AIGHT PEACE BITCHES!
-MELKWON THE CHEF
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